I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i will never coherently bang her
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
