Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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