2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
