I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
bring money and cleavage
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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