some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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