It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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