Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
