Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
