I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
