We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
