I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
