bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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