so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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