dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
