this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
