After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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