if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
