If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
