Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
