The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
