Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
