i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
