whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
