Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize