what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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