now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
