i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
