i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
