you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
