i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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