sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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