im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
