I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We are two peas in an std pod
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
