It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
