You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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