But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
