i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
