Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
