Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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