By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
