so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Someone came in the potted fern
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
