My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
