dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize