Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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