when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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