cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Im part way to drunk.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
