i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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