yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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