i was born a porn star she said
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
