i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
