I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
