She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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