is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
