Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
