I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
