the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
