eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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