Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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