Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
